Making changes and learning patience
I can hardly believe that we're at the start of another new year again. January's about the only time of the year when the majority of the population actually takes some time to sit down and work out what they achieved last year and what they'd like to do in the coming twelve months. Many of us might even get as far as writing down a few resolutions. However, sadly, by the time I'm writing this (3rd January), many people will already not only have broken their resolution but binned it and returned to their old ways and habits.
The trouble with change is that it doesn't come easily. However, in a society where we find most things come easily, many of us often give up if something takes a lot of effort to overcome, or perhaps isn't particularly exciting or interesting to do. This is why diets are so often broken and given up on. They say that it takes three weeks to break an old habit, and even longer to establish a new one. This is why the greatest trait you can acquire at this time of year is patience. We so often expect things to happen immediately, or even yesterday, that we often fail to look long-term. But if you're attempting any kind of new year's resolution, it's only the long-term view that's going to help you get through the short term. Acquire some patience and remember that the longer term rewards of sticking to your resolution are far greater than the short term rewards of breaking it.
What resolutions have I set, you might wonder? Mine involve the usual things - getting fitter, eating better but also making some things higher priorities than others. So, while last year, music might have come down low on my list of priorities, this year, it's going to be nearer the top. This means planning more time to fit in music sessions and turning down potential social invitations if I've a rehearsal planned. I never used to enjoy practising as a child. I saw it as tedious and boring. And to be fair, it probably was. However, it's only by practising that I've improved as a musician and the only way to get through that idea that practising is boring is to look at the longer term goal, which this year, is to perform in front of other people. And there's no way I'm going to be ready to do that unless I've done the preparation. And unfortunately, one does not learn new pieces or improve overnight. It takes patience and perseverence. Just like any other new year's resolution.
New Year's Resolutions - some tips
- Write your resolutions down - you're more likely to stick to them if you have.
- Adopt a more flexible outlook and don't things as success or failures. if you break your resolution, see it as a set-back rather than a total failure. And just because you've broken your resolution one day, doesn't mean you can't try and stick to it the next day. With your flexible outlook should also be a recognition that you won't be a failure if you don't stick to your resolution.
- Remember that change is not an easy process. Imagine starting to drink tea or coffee without sugar and how difficult that might be to start with. However, you get used to it and eventually can't even imagine taking sugar again. That's exactly what changing anything is like - whether it's replacing old habits for new ones, or replacing old ways of thinking for new ones.
- Remember too that it doesn't need to be a new year for you to set yourself some resolutions to change your life and live more healthily - whether that's lifestyle changes or thought changes.
- Give yourself reminders and incentives to keep you going through the difficult times. Remind yourself of your rewards.
- When you do get bored or tired or find excuses, give yourself an easy to remember phrase to push you through. Mine, (for practising my flute is), "I might not like doing scales, but it's only by repeating these phrases that I'll become a better musician", instead of thinking "my god, these are boring, I might as well make myself a cup of tea".
- If you've made resolutions before and managed to stick to them, work out what worked in particular and employ those same techniques.
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